Three weeks to go...

The Cardiff Half Marathon is in three weeks. Three weeks!!! I think up until now I've mostly been excited. A little nervous of course, just because I've never done anything like this before, but mostly excited. But today I just got a bit panicky - I mean, I'm still going to do it, it'll be fine and I'll realize at the end that I was worrying for nothing, but right now? I'm feeling more than slightly apprehensive about the whole thing. Why on earth did I say I would do this when I've never even run a 10k? Should I have backed out over the summer when I hurt my leg and couldn't keep up with the training? I hate the idea of quitting anything, but I wonder if, once I knew that I wouldn't be able run the full distance, I should have backed out so that someone who could run the full distance could participate?

There was a 10k race here in Swansea today, and there were people who just went to watch. And I hadn't really given it much thought before, but it hit me that there would be spectators in Cardiff too... Currently, I wake up an hour and a half earlier than I would like just so I can run when there are fewer people out and about. And while I'm no Phoebe Buffay, I'm not what you'd call a graceful runner either - my face is always beet red, I'm puffing away and sweaty (of course). I wonder at these girls who seem to be able to run in hot pants and a sports bra with minimal jiggling and without breaking a sweat while I jog along in as many compressing layers as I can get away with without overheating (if they made breathable running burkas, I'd probably invest). And what if I can't do it and then everyone sees me fail?

My point is, nobody needs to see me run. And as I write this I realize how ridiculous I'm being. Who cares? Nobody is actually going to be watching me specifically, they're just there for the general event and for their friends. There will be so many people there that nobody's going to notice the girl in the half burka running in front of them, even if it does take me ages to actually run across their line of vision. And I'm not going to fail.

I think what I like most about running is how you can completely lose yourself to absolutely nothing and just run. No stress, no worrying, just focusing on making it to the next bench, or the next bend. And then when you get there you think 'just one more, and then I'll walk for a second', and you keep doing that until you reach the point that you can see the end and then you realize you can make it - and that feeling is amazing. About 100 metres from the end of my route I always force myself to run as absolutely fast as I can, no matter how long I've been running or how tired I am, and I think that's my favourite part of the whole run - knowing that I feel (sometimes) like death and still being able to do that bit at the end...I'm literally grinning when I actually finish, knowing that I've done that.

So I'm not going to worry anymore about this craziness. I may not be the fastest or the best, but it makes me happy. And even though I won't be able to run the full distance, I'm running. And one day I'll run the full thing, although hopefully by then I won't feel the need for the half burka.

Goal of 7k, no stopping, reached last week!! This week's plan is 7k (Monday), 5k (Wednesday) and 7k (Saturday).

Mmmm...

Fall is my favourite of all the seasons - I mean, spring is excellent, of course, with all the new flowers and the warmer weather, but fall is my absolute favourite. The weather outside gets crisper and everything inside gets warmer. I can't think of fall without thinking of pumpkins, cinnamon and nutmeg, Thanksgiving, baking and orange and brown. All of my favourite things :)

I have friends coming over tonight to watch The Great British Bake Off (so so excellent - who doesn't love a good natured baking competition?) and I was so excited to make fall foods - irish soda bread, butternut squash and ginger soup with rocket salad and some Saskatoon Berry wine for dinner and then lemon poppyseed cake for dessert. I don't even know if it will be good, but it smells like fall in my kitchen for the first time this year, and I love it :)

when the weather wins...

I think camping is one of my favourite things to do - I love being outside and hearing nature at night (so long as that nature doesn't include bears!), I love being wrapped up in a warm sleeping bag and reading with my head lamp, and I love waking up in a tent. I love drinking a cup of hot tea in the morning while sitting outside your tent and planning a hike and picnic for the day - it's all just pleasant. So all of this was what I had in mind when my friend and I decided to go camping at the Brecon Beacons this weekend, a national park about an hour away from Swansea.

Unfortunately, neither of us counted on the sheer determination of the rain in Wales to foil our plans. We'd left Swansea Saturday morning, in spite of the pouring rain in the city, thinking that things would clear up by the afternoon (tip: never trust the Met Office. They lie.). It rained the whole way to Brecon, sometimes so hard that we could hardly see the sheep along the side of the road (no roadside fences here - we like sheep to be free to cross at their own convenience), and continued to rain intermittently all afternoon. There was a brief and welcome break when we set up our tent at the campground, but it started raining hard again in the evening and didn't stop until this afternoon. Lovely.

Both of us are geography students, and we've both spent enough time doing field work to not actually care about rain. But there's a big difference between having to do doing field work in the rain and choosing to spend a day hiking in the rain. So we agreed to postpone the hike for a sunny day, and ended up exploring a bit by car instead. Which brought us to a wonderful, wonderful place: Hay-on-Wye.

 

Hay-on-Wye is right on the border between England and Wales, and it's best known as the book capital of the UK - there are so many bookstores there, many of them used, and all of them full of character and just general fantastic-ness. Fortunately we could both spend hours (literally, as we discovered today) trawling bookstores, and so we spent an excellent day wandering between bookstores and searching for books. I tend to make a beeline for fiction, sci-fi/fantasy and cookery, but in one store I wandered over towards the 'self-sufficiency' section, because a book on henkeeping caught my eye (I have a not-so-secret dream of living out in the country with a large vegetable patch, hens and bees. In my mind it is fabulous, but I feel like the reality would be somewhat different...). Anyway!!! Imagine my surprise and then excitement when, right between henkeeping and goat husbandry I saw:

That's right - SOIL SCIENCE!!!! My unexpected and inexplicable academic passion. It was great - soil surveys from England and Wales, historical soil records from the UK and some textbooks. Such happiness! The woman at the cash register did give me a funny look when I handed over my pile of soil books, but really, when you can buy a textbook for £3, you just do it. Any student knows this.

Anyway, while the weekend did not go as planned, it was still pretty perfect. At least it stopped raining long enough on the way home for me to take pictures as proof that we actually went there!

Success!

I went running again this morning - so far this week I've somehow managed to stick to my activity plan...very satisfying. Anyway!! This morning I went running with a friend and was able to do the full 5k without stopping once, and we were talking the whole time! I've always wondered how on earth people have the breath to talk and run at the same time, but today I was one of those people. On top of that, our time wasn't horrible, and we weren't going any slower than I normally do, which means I could definitely speed up when I'm on my own and not die, which has been my feeling before now.

How great!

Another 5k on Sunday, and then it's up to 7k next week.

Hymns

Tonight I was with some friends from church, and near the end of the evening the woman leading the discussion passed around some hymn books and asked us all to pick our favourite. Now, a lot of people my age don't like hymns much. I get it - they're old fashioned and they generally involve either an organ or a piano. Rarely a guitar, no drums. Never drums. But I, being somewhat old fashioned myself (I can admit it. Sometimes I feel like an 80 year old in a 29 year old body), kind of love them, and because most people nowadays don't like them so much, we tend not to sing them at church very often. So I was rather excited about the prospect of singing a bunch of random hymns on a Thursday night.

However, as a Lutheran/Alliance/Baptist church girl in a Methodist church environment, this became a difficult task, because apparently (although I didn't realize this until I moved here) there are different songs for different denominations (as though we needed yet another way of dividing people...). So I grew more and more disappointed as I flipped through the index at the back looking for the hymns that immediately sprang to mind from growing up in a hymn-y kind of church and finding none. Until I spotted it - Be Thou My Vision. It's my fall back hymn. The one that springs to mind at the most random times and always makes me feel better about whatever is going on. It is tied only by It Is Well With My Soul, which nearly always makes me cry.

Anyway, we went round the group and sang everyone's hymns (with a piano, thankfully...otherwise that could have been dreadful), and then we got to mine. And the only thing I could think about the whole time we were singing was my grandfather, and how he would have been smiling if he'd been there.

And so I just wanted to post this, in his honour. Because while I'm pretty sure all of my friends are aware that I'm a Christian and I go to church, it's not something I talk about very often. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it, if it comes up in conversation I'm open and happy to talk about it, but I've never liked the 'In Your Face' Christianity that seems to come so easily to some. I'd rather just be, and let others be as well. But I can't sing hymns without thinking of my grandfather, and I can't think of my grandfather without thinking of true Christianity and how much, in my mind, he exemplified that. He would have been happy seeing me tonight, and even though he'll never read this, I just wanted to say, out loud (or on the internet...whatever.) that I had a lot of fun singing a bunch of random hymns on a Thursday night. And I wish he could have been there.

Running, craziness, and accountability

There won't usually be multiple posts in a day, but that earlier one was more about why this whole thing started, and this one is entirely different.

Around the middle of April, a friend and I were talking about how we wanted to start running, as we live in a city with a great running trail along the coast, and neither of us take advantage of it like we should. Anyway, it took us a few weeks, but by May we were right into it and had gone from jogging for 1 minute and wanting to die to jogging 5 km without stopping. That's a big deal!

I've never been an athletic person. I love walking, I love hiking, I love being out in the water. But sports and track activities have never been my thing. But I will admit it here - I LOVE RUNNING! I sleep better, I've got more energy, I feel fitter, more comfortable in my skin and in my clothes, I feel more confident and I just feel all around happier when I've been running. It's great! My friend shared my enthusiasm completely, so it was with happy and naively optimistic hearts that we signed up for the Cardiff Half Marathon on October 16, and started training to be able to run 21 km.

Unfortunately, I hurt my leg back in June, and my friend busted up her knee and her ankle around the same time. I could barely walk on it, and it's only very recently that I've been able to go out running again without wanting someone to just take pity on me and amputate my useless limb. However, it's now September. The half is in just over a month, and I'm back to being able to run 5k. Just barely.

Needless to say, I'm panicking a bit. I signed up for this and I want to do this, but I'm wondering if it's even possible at this point? What kind of crazy person signs up for a half marathon 2 months after they start running?

Anyway, I've come up with a new training schedule that involves running at least 5k three times a week, and cross training by doing yoga on running days and a cardio/crazy Jillian Michaels workout video on the off days. I'm hoping that by crosstraining and building up my cardio and flexibility I'll be able to run at least 13 km in Cardiff.

And that's okay, I think. At the beginning of April I couldn't run at all, and while I may not be able to run the whole thing, I'll for sure be able to do part of it, which is something I'd never ever thought I'd say.

So - here's my first 'accountability' post. Running 3 times a week, yoga 3 times a week, crazy Jillian 3 x a week. And I will rest on Sundays. Yikes.

eager feet...

I think it's fair to say I'm a bit of a geek when it comes to Lord of the Rings...the friend I went to see the third movie with will attest to this, as I vividly remember shrieking at her in the cinema parking lot when she asked why the eagles didn't just carry the ring to Mount Doom in the first place and save everyone else the trouble. I still don't know if I have an acceptable answer to that...

Plot discussions aside, there are a number of poems and lines throughout the books that stick with me like no other poetry can, and The Road Goes Ever On And On is the best example of this:

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
~ J.R.R. Tolkein, Fellowship of the Ring

And then there's this bit as well (and then I promise I'm done):
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door...you step onto the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to."

It recently hit me that this is the last year of my 20s. Don't get me wrong - I'm not nervous about turning 30. I'm not having a crisis of any kind, nor am I feeling any desire to go back in time and relive my glorious youth...it's better left behind. No, what I'm feeling is this sense that 30 is going to be my year, and while I think I'm not doing horribly, I know I want more for myself.

I found a list of goals at the back of a journal today, and reading through them, I realized two things. Among the random crazy goals, I have also set realistic (not low, realistic!) goals for myself, and while I've met some of them, there are still many that are yet unrealized. Like eating a chocolate croissant in Paris, visiting New Zealand, learning to play the guitar and the fiddle, baking and decorating a wedding cake, becoming a daily runner, and to be comfortable in my own skin. And those are just the realistic goals - who knows what will end up happening - I never planned or hoped for Wales, but here I am, and it's been amazing!

I've kept a journal for years, but there's something about this turning 30 thing that makes me want to share where I am in my life right now and what happens along the way. So here I am. And as cheesy as it may sound, I'm going out of my door with eager feet - we'll see where this leads!